This time of the year, nearly every commercial you see or song you hear is about the joys of Christmas. We’re all rocking around the Christmas tree during the most wonderful time of the year, right? Sometimes, not so much.

In times of grief, loneliness, sickness, and other turmoil, Christmas can honestly feel kind of awful. We know in our heads that the meaning of the season isn’t about the bells and bows, but it can be hard to get our hearts to understand that when it feels like Christmas cheer is being thrown in our faces all the time.

I'm not going to speak on behalf of anyone else, but I would imagine that after the loss of his son a few years ago and a couple of close friends more recently, the holiday season has changed for Tobymac and his family. Toby released a song last year called Christmas Hits Different, and I think it's pretty relatable. 

For some, this season is the hardest of all
Fightin' the tears as they're deckin' the halls
The bitter-sweet of every Christmas song
Another year holdin' on

That leaves us with some questions: What do we do when we’re not feeling merry? How do we handle a hard Christmas season? How do we focus on Jesus when our hearts are hurting?

How Do We Cope? 

Even in the midst of difficult emotions, there are actions we can take to help us navigate the challenges that the holiday season may bring. While nothing can immediately erase grief or loneliness, there are ways to find peace and healing during this time.

1. Serve Others: One of the most powerful ways to combat feelings of loneliness or grief is to serve those around us. Whether through volunteering at a local food bank, helping a neighbor with errands, or reaching out to someone who may be struggling, acts of service can help shift the focus from our own pain to making a positive impact in someone else’s life. Serving others is not only a way to spread love, but it also helps us feel connected to the greater community.

2.  Create New Traditions: If old traditions bring too much sorrow, consider creating new ones. This could mean doing something simple, like baking a different kind of holiday treat or changing the way you decorate. These new experiences can give you a sense of ownership over the holiday season. Some churches even offer a “Blue Christmas” service for those who are struggling and being in a safe space like that, with like-minded people who are also navigating a tough season can be really healing.

3. Acknowledge Your Emotions and Find Support: One thing that can be helpful, I think, is to recognize your hard feelings and not try to stuff them down. If you’ve lost someone and seeing an empty chair at the dinner table or a missing stocking at the fireplace is painful – that’s normal. Sometimes it helps to find someone you can talk to about it like a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor. Talk to God about it too, He’s always there to listen! Cry when you feel like it, there’s no shame in that either.

Need prayer?

Hope, Peace, and Joy Are Still Within Reach

Christmas can feel heavy at times, but please remember that you are not alone. God is with you, Psalm 34 even says that the Lord is “close to the brokenhearted.” There is also a community of people who care about you and are walking through similar struggles. Healing takes time, and the pain you’re experiencing now will not last forever – even if you can’t really see that right now. Keep trusting that brighter days are ahead, and that God is walking with you through every step of this difficult season.

Remember, in moments of struggle, Christ is our comfort and He promises to never leave us. Whatever this Christmas may look like for you, take heart in knowing that hope, peace, and joy are still very much within reach, even in the midst of your pain.

And really, that is what this season is all about. May God be your peace, today and always.

For a child is born to us,
    a son is given to us.
The government will rest on his shoulders.
    And he will be called:
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
- Isaiah 9:6 NLT

(If you're feeling especially alone this holiday season, there are some great ideas on how to handle that here.)