A Christmas of Grief & Healing: Remembering My Cousin Christopher Perez

 

I didn’t expect him to stay.

My cousin, along with our entire family, was going through a lot of heartache. His baby brother—my cousin—had passed away unexpectedly in 2023 at just 19 years old.

After that, my cousin kept to himself. He stopped coming around to family get-togethers. I didn’t blame him, but I missed him.

Last year, I hosted a Christmas party, and he showed up—but only to drop off a batch of rice his mom had made. She wasn’t feeling well, so she sent him.

He walked in and set the rice on the counter. My mom went in for a hug. She looked at him and said, “Mijo, aren’t you going to stay for the party?”

I remember thinking, Mom, please don’t make this awkward—you know he doesn’t want to stay.

He took a breath, looked around, and said, “Sure, I’ll stay.”

In that moment, I can’t tell you the amount of joy I felt. It was a big step in his healing—and he allowed it to happen.

What unfolded next was something I wasn’t prepared for.

As cousins gathered around my table, eating churro cheesecake and enjoying each other’s company like a gift on Christmas morning, he opened up. It wasn’t easy, but it was honest. He shared how much hurt he had been carrying—his grief put into words right before our eyes and ears.

We didn’t end our conversation until about midnight. That night, I laid in bed, wept, and prayed: “God, help him. God, help us.”

This year, I hosted another Christmas party. My cousin showed up again—this time with a warm smile on his face.

As we talked, I realized that over the past year he had experienced the love of God like never before.

I stood there in awe, listening as he talked about his music, his healing journey, and his love for life again. I hosted the party for him, for my family—but I needed it too. We all did.

        The Bible says: And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony...
                                                                                                                                         Revelation 12:11

Him standing there—a different man—was proof that God is who He says He is. He is our healer, our redeemer, and our Savior.

The next morning, I sat at my kitchen island with a cup of warm vanilla coffee. As I was about to read my morning devotion, I noticed a new note in the notepad sitting there. It wasn’t my handwriting.

As I read it, I realized my cousin had left it there for me.

It was a list of scriptures.

I looked up each one and sat in there in the presence of God. He was there at my party last year when my cousin was broken, and He was there at the party this year too. He has never left us—and He has never left you.

 

 

1 Corinthians 5:5 (NLT)

“Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

2 Corinthians 5:7 (NLT)

“For we live by believing and not by seeing.”

James 1:22 (NLT)

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.”

Proverbs 3:5 (NLT)

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”

3 John 1:2 (NLT)

“Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.”

Romans 12:2 (NLT)

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Joshua 1:9 (NLT)

“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

“Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.”

 

 

                                                          

 

     This blog is lovingly dedicated to my cousin, Christopher Perez, whose life was cut short far too soon. Chris was one of my favorite people. Anytime I needed a helping hand around my house, he showed up with a bright smile. All he ever wanted to do was help his family. When we talked, he always had something good to say. I knew he didn’t have an easy life, but he kept it positive and hopeful. I always left him feeling proud of him.

Though his time with us was brief, his memory will forever be with us. May this story and these scriptures honor him and remind all of us that God is always present, even in our darkest moments.

 

With love,
Your friend,
Reyna Reyna